Impasse Martha Price Email this Author 9/20/2014 10:43:21 AM
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An Impasse is a conflict that occurs within another conflict. Impasses are stressful situations that occurs with disagreements in perceptions, values and needs and no one is willing to compromise. Going through impasse mainly pertains to attitude rather then technique. Impasse’s occur when people are not ready to move towards a resolution. Sometimes there is a good reason for being at an impasse. Everyone that does not want to move towards a resolution in a conflict has a good reason to in their eyes (Mayer., 2000).
I am currently dealing with an impasse in my personal life. In January I moved my best friend and her fifteen year old son into my family residence. She eventually became very controlling to me and was trying to break my husband and I up by saying hurtful things to me that my husband supposedly said to her. When I would confront my husband he would become very upset and angry with my friend because she was lying about him. She eventually got to the point that she informed me that I could not speak to my mother and she did not approve of other friends that I had. The last day she was at my house I was getting my children ready for school and she started screaming and cussing in my face as well as my seventeen year old son’s face. I told her that she needed to have her things removed off of my property before I returned home. I am choosing to not resolve my conflict with this person and I have not spoken to her since she was screaming and cussing at myself and one of my children.
I am choosing to not resolve this issue because I have what is known as essential tremor. I shake to the point that it is very noticeable to other people. My doctor told me that the shaking can increase with stress. The work that I do is very stressful as a case manager for children at a mental health facility. I do not need to come home and feel stressed and overwhelmed as well. Home needs to be a sanctuary of positive, loving and supportive people. Home needs to be a place where you feel safe. I believe I did a good thing and I gave her and her son a place to stay and treated her as though she was part of my family but, she took advantage of my gratitude.
In the past I have forced myself to work towards a resolution with people I was in conflict with. I look at the positive and the negative aspects of not working through the conflict and I determine if it is in the best interest of me to resolve the conflict. Normally if it is with a family member I will work towards a conflict simply because I don’t like arguing and I don’t like confrontations. If the resolution is not resolved I will feel very uncomfortable at family get-togethers.
In the past I have experienced false impasse by forcing myself to a resolution in a particular conflict. But, it never has turned out good. The underlying issues still remain in my emotions and it can cause a great deal of emotional instability in the relationship.
Mayer, B., (2000), The dynamics of conflict resolution a practitioner’s guide., Jossey-Bass., Danvers, MA
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