Can you please review this essay application. Make any changes you want. Please highlight the changes you made in any color so I can compare the two. Thanks again
PROMPT: The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience?
————–THIS IS THE ESSAY I HAVE WRITTEN (BELOW) PLEASE REVIEW———
The most significant challenge I have faced over the course of my life occurred during the time I spent in high school, specifically my freshman year. During this time, I had recently suffered an injury and was now confined to crutches and a boot. My broken ankle halted my blossoming dance career, my life went from being at the studio every day for hours a day, to no set schedule or routine. In addition to this, I was beginning my transition from middle to high school, kids can be especially cruel during this stage of life and I suffered the worst of bullying from my peers. For all of these events to happen in such a short amount of time, I believe, was the final blow to the makeshift wall I had built to hide the severity of the issues I was dealing with. I became disappointed with myself when I realized who I used to be and what I had now become, from a straight-A student who participated in sports, to a depressed teenager who could no longer get out of bed let alone focus on their educational priorities.
I understood that I was the only one who could make myself better, and that I now had to take the steps to do so. My battle with depression was long and often complicated, however with time I overcame, persevered, and pushed myself to develop into the person I am today. It took hours of therapy, hours of questioning if the path I am on to better myself is the right one, confusion, setbacks, and a substantial amount of self-discovery. The struggles I went through freshman year and the lessons I learned from them have equipped me with lifelong tools that enable me to stay focused in the darkest times. I would never like to experience the torments I did freshman year all over again, although I am incredibly thankful for the opportunity to show myself what I can do and what I can get through at such a young age.
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