I need a complete rewriting of the attached essay, ill attach the instructions and the rubric, please follow them closely. Here is also some of the feedback provided:
“Your writing is really good but most of what you’re saying is missing references. Try to add in references in the parts where you’re specifically referring to what each philosopher said” “You have a clear research question/angle stated in the introduction paragraph and yet this was not elaborated on in the body paragraphs of the essay. The arguments you used did not seem to be relevant and some facts stated about Locke need to be checked. When editing your paper try and link your arguments back to the research question as I missed that throughout most of the essay, and be sure to source. You had some good transitions, but your writing style overall needs to improve by rephrasing some words and sentences.” ” I would make some quotes shorter: Thomas Hobbes and John Locke have a lot in common regarding how the two people reason about life and how people are supposed to behave –> Thomas Hobbes and John Locke have a lot in common. Both discuss life and the way in which people should behave.
Why is your research relevant? Why have you decided to compare both thinkers?. Avoid using ”I” in the beginning of each paragraph – this is not about what you believe but on how you interpret their texts. Your conclusion is not very clear since your last paragraph is also a comparison. Add a conclusion. Overall is good!” the word limit is 1200 words exactly
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