THREE PARTS TO REVISION
(building a house)
1. Determining & Developing Focus/Thesis (The Frame)
2. Connecting Everything Together (Walls, Sheetrock)
3. Presentation (Paint, Appliances)
FIRST PART OF REVISION: Determining & Developing Focus (thesis)
Determining Focus (Thesis): One or two sentences that tells your reader how all the pieces in the essay connect and why that matters.
Paraphrasing Section: use one paragraph after the introduction/thesis to only paraphrase the section you are analyzing
Have you defined the appeal(s) you are focusing on?
Organizing to Support the Focus (Outline/paragraphs)
Developing focus (applying PIE to paragraphs)
Reverse Outline logical order of information and clear connection/development of thesis in each part/paragraph
Your thesis statement will include:
1. What one or two rhetorical appeals you will be discussing
2. How well and/or what is significant about King’s use of the rhetorical appeals in Letter from Birmingham Jail
Thesis Examples:
This section uses the rhetorical appeals of Pathos, most prominently, and Ethos to a lesser degree.
In Kings Letter from Birmingham Jail, he is addressing the criticisms published by the white clergy by persuading us to believe that the actions he has made are just and come from a place of love. He does this effectively in the sixth page, where he appeals to all parts of the rhetorical triangle by demonstrating his knowledge, defending it, and creating an emotional case of why we should believe in fighting for equality too and that it is not extreme.
PIE Example
We know King uses ethos because he references multiple prominent historical and biblical figures in his letter to help back up his claim that extremism can be good. From the bible; Jesus, Amos, and Paul; and from history; Martin Luther, John Bunyan, Abraham Lincoln, and Thomas Jefferson are all mentioned as extremists for the ideas that gave them their credibility in the first place. He focuses on these figures because he knows they are important to the church/clergymen, so by proving that the root of their actions connect to his own he is more likely to convince them. He says, Was not Jesus an extremist for love? and then quotes the scripture, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you. Showing the similarity between his and Jesus motives was an especially wise move because Jesus is undoubtedly the most honorable figure in the church.
PIE GENERAL GUIDELINES:
Use one illustration (quote/specific reference) per paragraph
Explain how each illustration shows what you say about it AND why it is significant for the thesis.
The explanation is the longest section of the paragraph; if you are over-explaining, you are probably right on track. The explanation is at least twice as long as the quote/detail.
The explanation shows us your thinking: how certain words led you to your ideas. What do you want your readers to understand about this quote? Why is it important for your thesis? Answering these questions is analysis/explanation.
2. Connecting Everything Together
Writing/Revising the Introduction (ends with Thesis)
Writing/Revising the Conclusion (remind readers what they can take away from your analysis why it matters/is significant
Creating flow with signal phrases: repeated key words (used in thesis) and transition sentences/language
Splicing Quotes (introduce any quotes used)
3. Presentation
MLA format (in-text citation)
MLA format (paper presentationmargins, font, etc.)
Proofread: wait to read at least a few hours after finishing steps 1 & 2
Read each sentence to catch any obvious typos or errors: it helps to read the last sentence first and go backwards to help focus on the sentence writing and not the overall essay
Ask a friend or classmate to read through and circle anything that is typed wrong and/or isnt clear
REVISION PART 1:
Thesis Statement: One or two sentences that tells your reader how all the pieces in the essay connect and why that matters.
Paraphrase: use one paragraph in the beginning to paraphrase the section you are analyzing
Define the appeal(s) you are discussing
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